Somebody asked me if I did facial rejuvenation acupuncture, and without thinking of the irony, I replied, “That’s really a younger practitioner’s game.” Frankly, as I have been taught, it is. I don’t have the patience, the eyesight (I don’t absolutely require reading glasses…yet), the knuckle control (I’ve bitched about how my hands are prone to arthritis before, and I don’t tend to do more than 30 needles in a regular session), or the back flexibility to lean over someone and do near a hundred extra small (yes, yes, acupuncture needles are tiny. Facial acupuncture needles are tinier.), precision (regular acupuncture is going a certain depth into muscles with a few millimetres of leeway. Facial acupuncture targets the dermis.) needles to the face. Frankly, recreating Hellraiser seems easier.

I was working on an older woman and mentioned that when I work both sides, I like to end face up so the patient has a chance for the sheet wrinkles to settle before facing the world. She said something to the effect of, “If you’ve made it to my age without wrinkles, there is something wrong with you. Life is reflected on your face, and if it hasn’t made an impression in 60 years, you haven’t had much of one.”

Which is not to say I don’t understand vanity or that I won’t work on your face if you ask me. Facial cupping is a great way to manually smooth the skin and bring extra circulation to the complexion. It’s also great for your sinuses. Some of the deeper wrinkles between the eyebrows or in the nasolabial groove can benefit from threading a pin through them. Both of these are best if you’re not wearing makeup. As with all facial work, it’s best if you’re not wearing makeup, with me, with another practitioner, or at home.

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